Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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