I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
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