I cockslap morals
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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