I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize