that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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