he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize