I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
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i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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