homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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