Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize