A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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