I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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