i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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