So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize