OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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