you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize