she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize