This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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