he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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