She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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