I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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