I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
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