Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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