Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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