I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
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I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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