I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just pee around me
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
