just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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