He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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