pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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