his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize