You're my little dorito
you didnt know i had herpes?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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