Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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