I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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