just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
