Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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