And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize