Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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