ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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