Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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