got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize