She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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