hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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