I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize