like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize