I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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