What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize