so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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