Kareoke will never be a sober sport
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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