Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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