He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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