I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize