I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize