God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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