I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize